Telling Pirate Tales
by arwenundomiel021
Summary: Three people who don't know each other are sucked back in time to the beginning of POTC1. One person to each Jack, Will, and Elizabeth. Will it change the original storyline?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I have no idea who owns POTC, but it's not me.

B/N: This is, once again, my friend Sarah's story. She's still diligently working on ANTLUT, so don't worry. The prologue is kind of weird, as all the characters in here are real people. Sydney and Katharine are her friend and cousin, I'm not sure which is which, and I'm Hannah. I'm also her beta. (Hence the 'B' instead of an 'A'.) Sarah said she was already working on the official chapter one.

* * *

**Prologue**

Sydney: It was a day, like any other day. Except more boring because the Internet was down-

Sarah: It wasn't down at my house.

Katharine: Shut up, we're trying to tell you what happened.

Hannah: Anyways, we were at my house-

Sydney: So it was all YOUR fault!

Hannah: Okay, ignoring that…

Sarah: Just get on with it.

Katharine: So yeah, we were at Hannah's house and we decided to watch Pirates of the Caribbean-

Hannah: I'm sorry, but I believe it was your idea to watch that movie in the first place.

Sydney: (turning to Katharine) So it was all YOUR fault!

Katharine: Can't a person finish a sentence with out it getting hacked to bits around here! Anyway, we were watching the movie and then (pauses dramatically) I was standing next to Will Turner, on his way back to his blacksmith shop.

Sydney: And I was standing outside the carriage when Elizabeth and her father got out.

Hannah: And I was with Jack Sparrow when his boat was sinking.

Sarah: Captain.

Other three: What?

Sarah: Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow.

Sydney: Whatever.

Sarah: So Katharine. You go first…

* * *

Additional notes that Hannah is putting on this saying that Sarah told her to, but Sarah didn't really tell her to.

It's short. But hopefully the chapters will get longer.

B/N: (Again.) Any mistakes are mine.


	2. Katharine's Tale

A/N: Okay, this chapter is sort-of a flashback. Most of them will be, except when I interrupt or something. You know how in movies when someone is recounting an event and it goes all blurry and the twinkly music plays and then it goes to the event that the person is recounting? Yeah, well that's what this is, minus the blurry screen and the twinkly music. Hope you like it! 

_**A/N: Okay, so this is the new revised chapter. My friend Katharine, I discovered, does not like Orlando Bloom. At all. So sorry to all the Orlando Bloom fan girls out there. I think he's hot too, but Katharine doesn't, so… That's why this chapter's been revised. I still hope you like it!**_

**Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, and, for legal reasons, my friends don't belong to me either. And some of the lines that my friends say have been taken from them without permission as well, just so we're all clear…**

**Chapter One: Katharine's Tale**

Katharine: (materializes out of nowhere and looks confused until she notices Will Turner) Oh my gosh. Orlando Bloom.

Will: Um… I'm sorry, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Will Turner, not Or— Or— whoever you said.

Katharine: What are you talking about? (looks around) Wait, where are we?

Will: Gardener's Lane.

Katharine: No, the town.

Will: Why, Port Royal, of coarse. (starts to walk away)

Katharine: Whoa whoa whoa. Are you saying I'm _in_ the Pirates of the Caribbean movie?

Will: Movie?

Katharine: Nevermind. I'm gonna stick with you until I can figure out what's going on.

Will: (thinks for a minute) I suppose it'd be all right. What's your name?

Katharine: Katharine.

Will: Well, Katharine, I can't assure you a good time. I'm a blacksmith and it can get a bit boring—

Katharine: Oh who cares about that? Maybe I can meet Jack!

Will: Yes well. Best to be on our way.

(They walk a little ways.)

Katharine: Where are we going anyway?

Will: Back to the blacksmith shop where I work.

Katharine: Oh yeah. You just delivered that sword to Elizabeth's dad, huh? That flippy trick you did with it was awesome! Ever watched the blooper reel on the Bonus Disc? You dropped it so many times. (laughs out loud)

Will: How did you know I delivered that sword? And what's a— a blooper reel?

Katharine: Uh, nevermind. It's not really important. Just be careful when we get to the shop. I don't know how my being here might mess with the story line.

Will: Why should I be careful and what—?

Katharine: Because I said so. And if you hurt Jack, you die.

Will: (looking confused and suspicious) What—?

Katharine: Hey look! Troops searching through barrels!

Will: (turns around and looks at the troops) That's strange. What are they searching for, do you suppose?

Katharine: It worked? I mean, I don't know. Norrington's wig?

Will: (glares at her and turns to the nearest soldier) What are you looking for?

Soldier: An escaped pirate. Apparently, he threatened to kill the Governor's daughter as a ruse so as for him to get away.

Will: (looks angry)

Katharine: Oh calm down already. It's not like Jack hurt her or anything.

Will: Jack? Do you know that pirate? (looks at her suspiciously)

Katharine: No, Orlando, no. I, um… Where I come from… um, we call every pirate Jack. Yeah.

Will: Oh. (pauses for a long moment) And my name is Will. _Will_.

Katharine: Oh, right. Sorry.

(They walk together in silence. Will seems preoccupied until they reach the blacksmith shop.)

Katharine: (pauses outside the door) Remember what I said. (walks into the shop)

Will: (calling after her) But, what _did_ you say? (follows her inside, notices Mr. Brown) Right where I left you. (smiles)

Katharine: (glances at hammer) Not where he left you.

Will: (gives her a quizzical look)

Katharine: (using another _Pirates_ line) Sorry mate. Couldn't resist.

Will: (begins to say something but, noticing Jack's hat, stops and reaches to pick it up)

Jack: (slaps Will's hand with a sword)

Will: (takes a step back) You're the one they're hunting. _The pirate_.

Hannah: (stepping forth from the shadows) Darn right he is.

Jack: (to Hannah) Please, _please_, try not to do anything stupid.

Hannah: I don't do stupid things. I do _not-too-bright_ things.

Katharine: Hannah?

Hannah: Katharine?

Hannah and Katharine: What're you doing here?! (pause) I asked you first!

Will and Jack: You know her?

Katharine: Yes, we're—

Hannah: No! Never seen her before in my life.

Katharine: (whispering through her teeth) What are you doing?

Hannah: (whispering back) Saving your neck!

Will: Right then, two pirates in one go.

Hannah: Must be you're lucky day.

Katharine: No kidding. I mean, you scalawag… person!

Will: Katharine, run for the troops! Quickly, get out of here before you get hurt!

Katharine: Are kidding? And miss all the swash-buckling action that's about to unfold?

Hannah: What are you, an info-mercial? Look, can we just get back to the script?

Will and Jack: (look confused)

Hannah: (sighs exasperatedly) Here, I'll do it. (turns to Will) You look somewhat familiar. Have I— he (points at Jack) ever threatened you before?

Will: (glances at Hannah, but keeps his eyes on Jack; he is the one with the weapon after all) I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.

Jack: Ah, well, then it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record. So if you'll excuse us… (walks to the door, Hannah at his side)

Will: (grabs a nearby sword and points it a Jack while pushing Katharine behind him)

Katharine: Hey!

Jack: (turns around and is about to say something when Hannah interrupts)

Hannah: Do you think this wise, boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?

Jack: (looking puzzled) Took the words right outta my mouth.

Will: He threatened Miss Swann.

Jack: Only a little.

(They parry a little.)

Jack: You know what you're doing, I'll give you that. Excellent form—

Hannah: Yeah yeah, but how's his footwork?

Katharine: Quoting the lines, Hannah?

Hannah: Shut up!

Katharine: Whatever.

Will: Excuse me, but ladies? We're in the middle of something…?

Katharine: Right, sorry. Continue.

Jack: Very well then. If I step here— (steps) Very good. Now I step again. (steps… again; thrusts his sword at Will, making him take a step back) Ta. (makes for the front door, Hannah hurrying to catch up)

Will: (throws sword which gets imbedded into the door just above the latch)

Katharine: As much as I hate to admit it, that was actually pretty cool.

Jack: (looks stunned while trying to pull the sword out of the door; he can't; turns back to Will) That is a wonderful trick. Except, once again, you are between me and my way out. And now, you have no weapon.

Will: (reaches behind him and grabs the closest thing; a sword with a heated tip)

(They fight some more… whoo.)

Jack: (noticing all the swords) Who makes all these?

Katharine: Who do you think?

Will: I do! And I practice with them—

Katharine: Three hours a day!

Will: Yes. How did you know?

Hannah: Who's quoting lines now?

Katharine: Shut up.

Jack: But fortunately, I know the point. And that is, you need to find yourself a girl, mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of _wooing_ said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?

Katharine: (snort)

Will: I practice three hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!

(They continue fighting, which I'm sure I don't need to describe. You've all seen the movie I'm sure, so you know what ensues. Therefore, let us skip ahead…)

Jack: (rips open a bag of sand and pours it on Will)

Will: (gets the sand out of his eyes and points his sword at Jack, who is pointing a pistol at Will's face) You cheated!

Jack, Hannah, and Katharine: Pirate!

Jack: How do you keep doing that?

Katharine: Get used to it, we do that a lot.

Hannah: (shrugs) I've just always wanted to say that.

Soldiers Outside: (bang on door)

Will: (moves in front of the back door)

Jack: Move away.

Will: No.

Jack: _Please _move.

Will: No! I cannot just step aside and let you escape.

Jack: This shot is not meant for you.

Will: (looks confused)

Hannah: Jack, lookout!

Mr. Brown: (hits Jack over the head with a bottle)

Soldiers Outside: (bust down the door and storm inside)

Katharine: Ouch. Who knew rum would betray him like that?

Hannah: Jack! (rushes to his side)

Norrington: Excellent work Mr. Brown. You've assisted in the capture of a dangerous fugitive.

Hannah: Jack's not dangerous, you idiot!

Norrington: Make that two fugitives. (to the room at large) Well, I trust you will always remember this as the day that Captain Jack Sparrow _almost_ escaped. Take them away.

Hannah: No, you can't do that! Let me go!

Katharine: It's okay Hannah! Will— _We'll _get there eventually!

Hannah: Shut up and do something now!

Katharine: Don't criticize me! I'm trying to be supportive!

Hannah: Supportive?! I'm getting dragged off to jail with Jack! (pauses a minute) Wait a minute. I'm getting dragged off to a jail with _Jack Sparrow_. (thinks a moment) Dreams _do_ come true!

Katharine: No fair! You get Jack Sparrow and I'm stuck with bloody Will Turner? Fate hates me!

Hannah: Take me away boys! (holds out wrists which are promptly clapped into shackles)

Jack: (in a fit of subconsciousness) Shut up, you bloody wenches! You're givin' me a headache… (slurs off back into unconsciousness)

**_A/N: Okay, so I hoped you liked the revised chapter! Sorry Katharine, hope you like this version better, because it's the one that's sticking! Thanks for rereading, bye!_**

**A/N: Well that's the official first chapter. Sorry it took me longer than expected, but I had relatives visiting so there wasn't much time to type. Anyway, hope you liked it. Sorry if I quoted the movie too much, but it had to be believable. Well, at least the part about them being in the movie had to be. And thanks to my beta, Hannah, who is posting my story and gave me some lines to use, as stated in my disclaimer. Well that's it. I hope to have the next couple of chapters up by September. The next chapter shall feature my friend Sydney with Elizabeth. Any story ideas are welcome. Thanks and don't forget to review! **


	3. Sydney's Tale

**A/N: Hello again! This is chapter two, or it could be chapter three if you're counting the prologue. Anyway, this chapter focuses on my friend Sydney's journey with Elizabeth. Which I hope will be funny because Sydney and Elizabeth are sorta, well…complete opposites. At least I think so. So they're going to butt heads a few times. Plus they're both very strong-willed in their opinions. raises glass So here's to another good chapter! I hope…**

**P.S. When you see a line, that means going into a flashback, or returning from a flashback. And when you see italics it means that the person is thinking it.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pirates of the Caribbean, my room would be clean. And if I owned my friends, they'd be the reason why. Nah, I'm kidding. But seriously, I don't own it. Oh and some of these lines, my friends made up when I asked them what they'd say in a certain situation. That goes for every chapter, so I'm not going to say it again. **

**Recap from Last Chapter:**

Norrington: Excellent work Mr. Brown. You've assisted in the capture of a dangerous fugitive.

Hannah: Jack's not dangerous, you idiot!

Norrington: Make that two fugitives. (To the room at large) Well, I trust you will always remember this as the day that Captain Jack Sparrow _almost_ escaped. Take them away.

Hannah: No, you can't do that! Let me go!

Katharine: It's okay Hannah! Will— _We'll _get there eventually!

Hannah: Shut up and do something now!

Katharine: Don't criticize me! I'm trying to be supportive!

Hannah: Supportive! I'm getting dragged off to jail with Jack! (pauses a minute) Wait a minute. I'm getting dragged off to a jail with _Jack Sparrow_. (thinks a moment) Dreams _do_ come true!

Katharine: Are you crazy!

Hannah: Crazy with obsession! Take me away boys! (holds out wrists which are promptly clapped into shackles)

Jack: (in a fit of sub consciousness) Shut up, you bloody wenches! You're givin' me a headache… (slurs off back into unconsciousness)

**End of Recap. **

**Chapter Two: Sydney's Description**

Sarah: (looking at Hannah) Ew.

Hannah: What?

Sarah: Ew. Just… ew.

Hannah: (looks confused)

Sarah: Jack Sparrow…?

Hannah: Shut up, Sarah!

Sarah: He's like, thirty years older than you!

Hannah: It's not _that_ bad…

Sarah: Oh sure, he's only a _little _bitolder. _Than your dad_! Sure, it's not _that_ bad.

Hannah: Oh shut up. (hits Sarah and smiles in this way that isn't describable) Besides, he's hot. Exceptions must be made.

Katharine: Yeah, well, thanks for the interruption. Can I go on now, or do you wish to butt in some more?

Sarah: Sorry, sorry. Just had to get that out. It's Sydney's turn anyway.

Katharine: But I wasn't done!

Sarah: Well, I want to hear about Elizabeth! Sydney…?

* * *

Sydney: (looking around) What the heck?

Elizabeth: (stepping out of the coach) Father, I can't wear this corset.

Governor Swann: Elizabeth, please. It can't be too terrible. (walks ahead)

Elizabeth: (begins to follow her father when she notices Sydney's clothes, which are an orange blouse and a white, mid-calf skirt with black flats) Who are you?

Sydney: Elizabeth Swann?

Elizabeth: No, not who _I_ am. What is your name?

Sydney: Um… Sydney?

Elizabeth: _No_, not where you're from. What is your name? Do you speak English?

Sydney: My name _is_ Sydney.

Elizabeth: Oh, well, that's a strange name, isn't it?

Sydney: Excuse me?

Elizabeth: No offense, of course. Where are you from?

Sydney: What makes you think I'm from anywhere?

Elizabeth: Heavens, girl. Have you seen what you're wearing? You're practically naked on the streets!

Sydney: Well, I—

Elizabeth's Lady's Maid: Miss Swann! Come here this instant, before you ruin your dress!

Elizabeth: Coming! (to herself) Hag. (starts to walk towards her Lady in Waiting when she stops and stares at Sydney, and interested look on her face) Excuse me? But how would you be interested in a job?

Sydney: (suspiciously) Why?

Elizabeth: Well my present lady's maid is… a bit astringent, shall we say? She orders me around all day and treats me like a child. But if I gave you her job, I would be rid of the old hag and you couldn't treat me like a child, seeing as you are one.

Sydney: I am _not_ a child. I prefer the term "young adult".

Elizabeth: Yes, well, what do you say? Will you take the job?

Sydney: What would I have to do, exactly?

Elizabeth: Oh you just have to stick by me and hold my fan. Run errands for me occasionally. That sort of thing.

Sydney: I don't know…

Elizabeth: I'd pay you of course. But we'd need to get you more suitable attire. Father would never approve if he found out I just picked you up off the street with your underclothes on! But you seem very clean. I'm sure it will be fine, and besides, I'm desperate to get rid of the old lady. I'll let you borrow one of my old dresses until we can get one made for you. Come with me now please. If you accept, that is.

Sydney: You're kidding right? Seriously, I can wear a dress with panniers and not look insane? Oh, I forgot. Seventeen hundreds…

Elizabeth: (looking confused) Yes, well…

Sydney: I'm all yours.

Elizabeth: Wonderful! Now to find you a temporary dress… Ah, I know! I always keep one in the carriage for emergencies.

Elizabeth: (leads Sydney to the carriage and pulls out a dress) Here, put this on. I'll wait for you by the gates of the Fort, but please hurry. I only have so much time before I'm expected inside the walls. (walks away toward the Fort)

Sydney: (takes the dress and gets into the carriage)

(Almost forty-five minutes later, Sydney emerges in a pale blue dress, perfect for everyday wear. She hurries to the Fort gates where she can see they are about to close.)

Elizabeth: Wait! Let her pass, she is my lady's maid.

Sydney: (walks through the gates just in time)

Elizabeth: There we are! That's much better, isn't it? Now, just stand a little behind me— There you go.

Governor Swann: Elizabeth? Elizabeth, where are you? The ceremony is about to begin.

Elizabeth: (calling behind her) Coming, Father! (to Sydney) All right. Now just stand there and do as I say. And no talking. Understand?

Sydney: Yes.

Elizabeth: Yes, _Miss Swann_.

Sydney: (said in an annoyed tone) Yes, Miss Swann.

Elizabeth: Very good. Now except for that hairstyle you look quite presentable.

Sydney: (a hint of sarcasm) Thank you.

Elizabeth: (not noticing the sarcasm) You're welcome. Now follow me.

(Elizabeth leads Sydney down a hallway and into a courtyard. They walk down into a spot reserved for Elizabeth. They stand while the ceremony begins. We will now skip ahead a bit after the ceremony takes place, as I don't imagine there was very much said during said ceremony.)

Sydney: (as everyone starts to disperse) Is it over?

Elizabeth: (a little short of breath) It's over.

Sydney: Finally. I thought I was gonna pass out.

Elizabeth: Well, we still have to wait a bit longer. There's a party now.

Sydney: Any food?

Elizabeth: Of course.

Sydney: Then what are we doing standing around here?

(They walk towards a table piled with delicious foods. When they reach it, Norrington walks up.)

Norrington: May I have a moment? (eyes Sydney) In private?

Elizabeth: (Upholding her manners, she walks with him onto the platform, but not before giving Sydney a worried look.)

(They walk off together, Elizabeth trying hard to conceal the wince in her every step. Meanwhile, Sydney is raging a battle inside her head…)

Sydney: _Maybe I should follow her. **No! You have to stay put and not interfere!** But Elizabeth is going to fall! **Exactly! If you stop her, you'll ruin the entire plot-line!**_

Norrington: ELIZABETH!

Sydney: (runs with the guards, to see what's the matter)

Gillette: The rocks! Sir, it's a miracle _she_ missed them!

Norrington: Come on then, men! Make for the docks!

(A crowd of soldiers, plus maybe a few other people, hurries out of the Fort and down to the harbor. They reach it just in time to see Jack kneeling over Elizabeth, who is in her undergarments. They make their own assumptions.)

Norrington: (points his sword at Jack's throat) On your feet.

Governor Swann: Elizabeth, are you all right?

Sydney: (hurrying up) Eliz— Miss Swann, are you okay?

Elizabeth: Yes. Yes, I'm fine.

Governor Swann: (gives Sydney a funny look)

Sydney: I, uh… work for Elizabeth

Governor Swann: (notices Murtogg holding the corset, who points to Jack; more assumptions are made) Shoot him!

Elizabeth: Father! (to Norrington) Commodore, do you really intend to kill my rescuer?

Norrington: (a bit grudgingly) I believe thanks are in order. (puts out his hand, Jack hesitates but shakes it, Norrington grabs his wrist and pulls back his sleeve) Had a brush with the East India Trading Company, did we? _Pirate? _

Governor Swann: (in that same annoying, short, slightly girly, voice as before) Hang him!

Norrington: Keep your guns on him, men. Gillette, fetch some irons. (notices Jack's tattoo) Well, well... Jack Sparrow, isn't it?

Sydney: Captain.

Jack and Norrington: (turn to look at her in disbelief; well Norrington is in disbelief, Jack is more happy that someone remembered) What?

Sydney: I believe he has the title of Captain… sir.

Jack: (bowing slightly to Sydney) Thank you, young missy. (to Norrington) She's right, Commodore. It is Captain.

Norrington: Well I don't see your ship. Captain.

Sydney: He's in the market. (people stare at her; she coughs) I mean, he's— (cough) he's uh, probably in the market, if he doesn't uh, doesn't have a ship, I mean.

Jack: That's right. In the market. As it were.

Murtogg: He said he'd come to commandeer one. Him and some girl.

Mullroy: Told you they were telling the truth. (to Norrington) These are his, sir. (gives Norrington Jack's effects)

Norrington: No additional shots, nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north, (unsheathes sword) and I half expected it to be made of wood. (sheaths sword)You are without doubt the _worst_ pirate I've ever heard of.

Jack: But you have heard of me. (clapped in irons; looks painful)

Elizabeth: Commodore, I really must protest. (walks up to Norrington)

Sydney: As do I. (everyone stares) Not that my opinion matters in this time period.

Norrington: (to Lieutenant) Carefully, Lieutenant.

Sydney: Yeah right.

Elizabeth: Pirate or not, this man saved my life!

Norrington: One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.

Jack: Though it seems enough to condemn him.

Norrington: Indeed.

Gillette: (moves away from Jack, which admittedly isn't a very bright thing to do; how did he get such a high rank?)

Jack: Finally. (grabs Elizabeth and holds her in front of him)

Governor Swann: No, don't shoot!

Sydney: _Yeah, I think they can see she's in the line of fire._

Jack: I knew you'd warm up to me. Commodore Norrington, my effects please. And my hat.

Norrington: (hesitates)

Jack: Commodore!

Norrington: (to Sydney) You, girl! Take these to the… the _pirate_. (hands Sydney Jack's effects; and his hat)

Sydney: (hands them to Elizabeth)

Jack: Thank you, love. (to Elizabeth) Elizabeth— it is Elizabeth, isn't it?

Elizabeth: It's Miss Swann. (voice drips with venom)

Jack: Yes, well, Miss Swann, if you'd be so kind. (pause) Come, come dear, we don't have all day. Now if you'd be very kind…

Elizabeth: (starts strapping stuff on Jack)

Jack: Easy on the goods darling.

Elizabeth: (tightens…something) You're despicable.

Jack: Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you saved mine. We're square.

Sydney: (buggin' out over the fact that she's hearing the lines actually being spoken; officially loves her life)

* * *

Sarah: (is jealous)

* * *

Jack: Gentleman, m'lady, you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow! (pushes Elizabeth into line of soldiers and makes his awesome escape)

Governor Swann: Now will you shoot him!

Sydney: _Can he be any more annoying?_

Norrington: Open fire!

Governor Swann: Come Elizabeth, let's get you home.

(Now, obviously, I don't know what happened to Elizabeth while Jack was escaping. Nor do I know what she was doing when Will and Jack were fighting, just as I do not know why they put Braille on drive-thru ATM machines. So I shall fast forward to the scene in which Elizabeth is talking to her maid and Sydney. That is all.)

Estrella: (puts bed-warmer under the covers) There you go, Miss. It was a difficult day for you I'm sure.

Sydney: _How does the bed not catch on fire?_

Elizabeth: I suspected Commodore Norrington would propose but I must admit, I wasn't entirely prepared for it.

Sydney: (now in a pale blue everyday dress, one of Elizabeth's maid's, and sitting in a chair against the wall next to the door) She meant you being threatened by that pirate.

Elizabeth: Oh. Right.

Estrella: It sounds terrifying.

Elizabeth: Yes, it was terrifying.

Sydney: I bet.

Elizabeth: What?

Sydney: I didn't say anything.

Elizabeth: (glares)

Estrella: But the Commodore proposed!

Sydney: (dripping with sarcasm) Yeah, fancy that.

Estrella and Elizabeth: (glare at Sydney)

Estrella: (to Elizabeth) That's a smart match, Miss, if it's not too bold to say.

Elizabeth: It is a smart match. He's a fine man; he's what any woman would dream of marrying.

Estrella: But that Will Turner… he's a fine man, too.

Elizabeth: That is too bold.

Sydney: (rolls her eyes)

Estrella: Well beggin' your pardon Miss. It's not my place. (leaves the room)

Elizabeth: (to Sydney) All right, what is it?

Sydney: What?

Elizabeth: You've been awfully rude to me since you came here and if you value your job you'll tell me why.

Sydney: Oh c'mon, how much more Mary Sue can you get? (counts on fingers) Perfect house, perfect social class, perfect fiancé. You even end up with the perfect guy!

Elizabeth: So you're jealous?

Sydney: No! I'm just sick of all this perfection! Don't you ever wonder what it's like to have a normal life? With flaws? I can't relate to you because no one's perfect.

Elizabeth: Flaws? I can do flaws, see? I—I have a knot in my hair! _See_? (runs fingers flawlessly through hair)

Sydney: (raises eyebrow)

Elizabeth: Well, that's just one thing. I—

(Elizabeth is cut off by cannon-fire in the distance.)

Elizabeth: What was that?

Sydney: Oh, crap, I forgot about them.

Elizabeth: Forgot about whom? What's going on?

Sydney: Look out the window.

Elizabeth: (hurries to the window) Oh my goodness!

Sydney: (sighs) Yep.

Elizabeth: They're headed for our front doors!

Sydney: (sighs) Yep.

Elizabeth: (hurries out of the room)

(A gunshot and the cries and yells of many people can be heard through the door.)

Estrella: (runs into the room) Where's Miss Swann?

Sydney: (hitches thumb at the door)

Elizabeth: (runs into the room)

Estrella: (grabs Elizabeth) Miss Swann, they've come to kidnap you!

Elizabeth: What? (sounds shocked)

Estrella: You're the Governor's daughter.

Sydney: (in a singsong voice) Flawless…

Elizabeth: We do not need your negativity right now, thank you.

Sydney: (shrugs)

Elizabeth: Look, they haven't seen either of you. Hide, and the first chance you get, run to the fort. (runs to the closet to distract incoming pirates while Estrella makes her escape)

Sydney: (doesn't move)

Elizabeth: (smacks Pintel and burns Ragetti)

Ragetti: Ow, ow! Hot!

Elizabeth: (to Sydney) Hurry!

(They run out of the room and down the stairs. A cannon flying through the house distracts the other pirates and Elizabeth and Sydney are able to escape, barely missing being crushed to death by a falling chandelier. They run into a dining-type room, instead of running out the front door, and Elizabeth barricades the door with, get this, a candelabra. Then she tries to pull a sword out of a wall ornament, which turns out to be more difficult than she anticipated.)

Sydney: What are you doing? We don't have time for this!

Elizabeth: Quick, in here! (pulls Sydney into a closet)

Pintel and Ragetti: (burst into the room)

Pintel: We know you're 'ere, poppet! Come out, and we promise we won't 'urt you.

Sydney: _And we're supposed to believe this?_

Pintel: We will find you, Poppet. You've got something of ours, and it calls to us. The gold calls to us…

Ragetti: Gold calls…

Pintel: (looks through space between the closet doors) 'Ello, poppet. (opens door)

Elizabeth and Sydney: Parlay! (Elizabeth looks at Sydney suspiciously)

Ragetti: What?

Elizabeth: I— _We_— invoke the right of parlay.

Pintel and Ragetti: (look confused; or maybe it's just their stupidity showing)

Elizabeth: According to the Code of the Brethren set down by the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew—

Sydney: —you have to take us to your Captain.

Pintel: I know the Code.

Sydney: _I'm surprised someone with a brain the size of a walnut can comprehend such knowledge._

Elizabeth: If an adversary demands parley you can do them no harm until the parley is complete.

Ragetti: Oh, to blazes with the Code!

Sydney: So you guys are just going to drop all that a pirate holds sacred? What would your shipmates think of you?

Pintel: The girl's right. Besides,they want to be taken to the Captain. And they'll go without a fuss. We must honor the Code.

(Pintel and Ragetti each grab Sydney and Elizabeth by the wrists and drag them out of the house. They are dragging them down the street when the girls spot Will.)

Elizabeth: Will!

Will: Elizabeth.

Katharine: Sydney?

Sydney: What—?

(Sydney is cut off when Will is hit on the head by a pirate. Katharine tries to run after them but is knocked to the ground by a crowd of people and knocked unconscious. Elizabeth and Sydney try to go help but are restrained by Pintel and Ragetti. They remain silent until they reach and board the Black Pearl.)

Bo'sun: (steps in front of Pintel) I didn't know we was takin' on captives.

Pintel: They've invoked the Right of Parlay with Captain Barbossa.

Elizabeth: We are here to negotiate—

Bo'sun: (slaps Elizabeth) You will speak when spoken to.

Barbossa: (grabs Bo'sun's wrist) And ye'll not lay a hand on those under the protection of parlay.

Bo'sun: Aye, sir.

Sydney: _If this is a dream, I really need to wake up now. **Oh great. I'm starting to sound like those cheesy sitcoms when people think they're dreaming and they're really not and they sound really stupid.** Why does everyone jump to the conclusion that they're dreaming anyway? **Yeah, they could be hallucinating or— Sydney, focus!**_

Barbossa: My apologies, Miss.

Elizabeth: Captain Barbossa, we are here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against Port Royal.

Barbossa: There are a lot of long words in there, Miss; we're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?

Elizabeth: We want you to leave and never come back.

Barbossa: I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means "no."

Sydney: (starts to chuckle and abruptly stops)

Elizabeth: (takes off medallion and dangles over the side of the ship) Very well. I'll drop it.

Barbossa: Me holds are burstin' with swag. That bit of shine matters to us? Why?

Sydney: English please?

Elizabeth: (gives Sydney a 'now-would-be-a-good-time-for-you-to-be-quiet' look) It's what you've been searching for. I recognized the ship; I saw it eight years ago on the crossing from England!

Barbossa: (doesn't seem to believe her for some odd reason) Did ya, now?

Elizabeth: (gets this determined look on her face that Sydney finds very annoying) Fine. Well, I suppose if it is worthless then there's no point in me keeping it. (starts to drop it)

Barbossa: No!

Elizabeth: (smirks)

Barbossa: (laughs; knows he's caught) You have a name, Missy?

Elizabeth: Elizabeth...Turner. I'm a maid in the Governor's household.

Barbossa: Miss Turner...?

Pintel: Bootstrap.

Barbossa: And your friend?

Elizabeth: She's my…

Sydney: I'm her sister, Sy— (pauses when she realizes that Sydney really isn't an all too common name in this era), uh, Sophia. We both work for the Governor.

Barbossa: (nods) And how do maids come to own a trinket such as that? Family heirloom, perhaps?

Elizabeth: We didn't steal it, if that's what you mean.

Barbossa: Very well. You hand it over and we'll put your town to our rudder and ne'er return.

Elizabeth: (hands him the medallion) Our bargain?

Barbossa: (walks away)

Bo'sun: Still the guns and stow 'em. Signal the men, set the flags and make good to clear port.

Elizabeth: (runs after Barbossa) Wait! You have to take us to shore. According to the Code of the Order of the Brethren—

Barbossa: First, your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement so I must do nothing. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the pirate's code to apply and you're not. And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Misses Turner and Turner.

(The Black Pearl starts to sail away from Port Royal. Elizabeth and Sydney both turn to look back at the disappearing shores and you just know what they're thinking: Oh crud monkeys.)

* * *

**A/N: So there you go, Chapter 2. I know I said I'd have two more chapters before September and I'm REALLY sorry, but you know how school is. However, I will have the next chapter out by December at the very least. I'm on Fall Break right now, so I have a little more time to write and I already have a quarter of Chapter 3 written so it should go faster than this one has, Again, sorry! And I hope you liked this chapter. More soon! Please review!** B/N: GUESS WHAT! The next chapter is me and Jack…sigh 


	4. Hannah's Tale

**SUPER IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!! Parts of Chapter one have been re-done because Katharine does not like Orlando Bloom. At all. So, go reread that, please.**

**A/N: Hola peoples! It is me once again, here to give you the next installment of my Pirates fic. I'm just a little concerned though. I HAVE VERY FEW REVIEWS. So what I'm asking you all to do is spread my story around a little bit. The last thing I want to be is conceited so don't think I don't appreciate my herd of fans (love ya!), but I really would like to have some more reviews because it makes me feel all special and fuzzy when I get one cuz it means that people like my stuff and I might have an actual chance at becoming a professional writer. Anyway, I'm rambling away when you just want to get to the story right? Well this chapter focuses on Hannah (who is my beta; thanks Hannah!) and Jack Sparrow, which I know you all are eager to read about. I hope I meet every one of your expectations and that your Pirates OCD is soothed until the next installment. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't know why I have to tell you that I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. I never said I did in the first place! Evil copyrights and their stupid rules…**

**Recap. from Last Chapter:**

Elizabeth: (runs after Barbossa) Wait! You have to take us to shore. According to the Code of the Order of the Brethren—

Barbossa: First, your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement so I must do nothing. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the pirate's code to apply and you're not. And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Misses Turner and Turner.

(The Black Pearl starts to sail away from Port Royal. Elizabeth and Sydney both turn to look back at the disappearing shores and you just know what they're thinking: Oh crud monkeys.)

**End of Recap.**

**Chapter Three: Hannah's Account**

Hannah: And now, my blissful adventure with Jack.

Katharine: Don't rub it in. You got Jack Sparrow, and who am I stuck with? Orlando Bloom.

Sarah: Calm down. At least you got to go at all! Seriously…

Sydney: Yeah, and at least you weren't stuck with _Elizabeth_ the whole time!

Katharine: Oh yeah, well—

Hannah: Can we get back to me now?

Katharine: Coughcough "self-absorbed" coughcough.

Sydney: Did you just cough "self-absorbed"?

Katharine: Nooooo…

Hannah: Shut up, Katharine.

Sarah: Can we just get started now? I'd much rather hear about Hannah making a fool of herself in front of Jack than Katharine and Sydney's fighting.

Katharine: Sarah, you're a loser.

Sarah: Excuse me?

Katharine: Yeah, you're Loser McLoser, mayor of Loserville.

Sarah: And what does that make you?

Katharine: I'm Pretty McPretty!

Sarah: Pretty McPretty? Talk about lame!

Katharine: Well, you'd know all about that wouldn't you, Sarah?

Sydney: GUYS! Have you forgotten why we're here? (Everyone shrugs) It's to talk about what happened in hopes of avoiding therapy. (Everyone mumbles) Okay then.

Hannah: So I was sitting in front of the TV with these two, when there was this flash of light…

* * *

Hannah: (standing in the middle of a sinking boat) Holy crap! 

Jack: (calling down from the mast) Hey! What're you doin' in here?

Hannah: (calling up to the mast) What the— _Jack Sparrow_?! (screams)

Jack: (looking confused) Tha's Captain to you. (pause) Have we met?

Hannah: Yes! No! Sorta…

Jack: You're a stowaway!

Hannah: No! I just— actually I don't know how I got here…

Jack: So you're a witch!

Hannah: No! I just swam out here!

Jack: Why would you do that?

Hannah: I wanted to meet a famous pirate like you.

Jack: Pirate! I am no pirate! How dare you accuse—

Hannah: (eyes him) You're not fooling anyone, ya know.

Jack: (smirks) It's that obvious, huh?

Hannah: (shrugs) It's the eye liner.

Jack: (wipes his eye and looks at his finger; frowns) Here, (hands Hannah a bucket) start bailing out the water.

Hannah: (stares)

Jack: I gave you an order, Missy!

Hannah: (stares)

Jack: Unless you want to wind up dead, you best listen to me!

Hannah: Oh. My. Gosh. Jack just threatened my life!

Jack: (eyes her) What did you say your name was?

Hannah: My name is, um… um…

Jack: Your name is Um?

Hannah: No! It's Hannah.

Jack: Aye, Hannah. Thought so. You're a pirate I take it?

Hannah: You do?

Jack: (leans in and whispers) Well you're not exactly dressed like a lady, are you? (leans back out and uses normal voice) Besides, you know who I am and you're in my boat. How else do you explain that?

Hannah: Speaking of boats… (looks around at the half-sunken boat)

Jack: Bugger. Quickly, up the mast.

Hannah: (in an awe-struck voice) I'm allowed to get up on the mast with you?

Jack: Well you're here to join me crew aren't you? Can't have me crew drowning.

Hannah: But I thought women weren't allowed to be part of the crew.

Jack: (thinks) Aye, tha's true. But you're the only offer I got, so until I find a real crew, you stick with me.

Hannah: Oh. My. Gosh. I'm part of Jack Sparrow's crew!

Jack: Captain Jack Sparrow.

Hannah: Yeah.

Jack: Pirates say 'Aye'.

Hannah: Aye.

Jack: Right, let's go! (climbs up the mast)

Hannah: (follows)

(They sail into the harbor together ((Hannah humming the trademark theme song, while Jack sends her weird looks)) and step off the mast at the same time. They walk in stride up the dock, until they are stopped by the Harbormaster.)

Harbormaster: What- hey! Hold up there, you! It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the dock. (Everyone turns to look at the sunken boat) And I shall need to know your name.

Jack: What do you say to three shillings, (places three coins on Harbormaster's record book) and we forget the name?

Harbormaster: (closes book) Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith.

(Jack gives the Harbormaster a little bow, and he and Hannah walk off together down the dock. Jack pauses for a second to steal the Harbormaster's coin purse, then they continue on their way.)

Hannah: So, where do they anchor the _Interceptor_?

Jack: (stops and turns to face Hannah) How'd you know we was after the _Interceptor_?

Hannah: I, um… Well it seems like the most logical choice for a boat since your other one, uh, sunk.

Jack: (nods and starts walking again) Aye, she is a beauty.

(They walk in an awkward silence for a few minutes.)

Hannah: So what's with airline food anyway?

Jack: What?

Hannah: Nevermind…

(They approach the Interceptor, where they encounter Murtogg and Mullroy.)

Murtogg: This dock is off limits to civilians.

Jack: We're terribly sorry, we didn't know.

Hannah: I knew.

Jack: (coughs loudly to cover up what she said) Sorry about her, crazy girl. Bit sad really, hopeless case.

Hannah: (frowns)

Jack: If we see a civilian, we shall inform you immediately. (tries to walk around them, but they block his path) Apparently there's some sort of high toned and fancy to do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two _upstanding_ gentlemen such as yourselves did not merit an invitation?

Hannah: (snorts)

Murtogg: (glances at her and then at Jack)

Jack: (looks down and shakes his head)

Murtogg: (nods) Well, someone has to make sure this dock stays off limits to civilians.

Hannah: _And they're the best the Navy's got?_

Jack: It's a fine goal to be sure but it seems to me that a... a ship like that (points to the _Dauntless_) makes this one here a bit superfluous, really.

Hannah: Oh no! Jack!

Jack: What is it?

Hannah: I… I think I left the water running!

Mullroy: Is she allowed on public streets?

Jack: Shh! Don't upset her; they just took her off the leash!

Murtogg: Right well, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough, but there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed.

Jack: I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast— nigh un-catchable— the Black Pearl.

Hannah: Did you know that the rarity of a Tahitian black pearl makes diamonds seem common?

Jack: (while shaking his head) Just…just ignore her. Don't… just don't make eye contact.

Mullroy: Well...there's no _real_ ship as can match the Interceptor.

Murtogg: The Black Pearl is a real ship.

Mullroy: No, no it's not.

Murtogg: Yes, it is. I've seen it.

Mullroy: You've seen it?

Murtogg: Yes.

Mullroy: You haven't seen it.

Murtogg: Yes, I have.

Mullroy: You've seen a ship with black sails, that's crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?

Murtogg: No.

Mullroy: No.

Murtogg: But I have seen a ship with black sails…

(Jack and Hannah sneak off to the _Interceptor_.)

Hannah: Okay, now what?

Jack: Nothing.

Hannah: Nothing?

Jack: That's right.

Hannah: But you have another person now! We can take this ship and go!

Murtogg: Hey! You two! Get away from there!

Jack: Too late.

Mullroy: You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate. And miss.

Jack: We're sorry, it's just - it's such a pretty boat— ship.

Murtogg: (eyes him) What's your name?

Jack: Smith. Or Smithy, if you like.

Murtogg: And hers?

Hannah: …Giselle…

Mullroy: What's your purpose in Port Royal, _Mr. Smith and Giselle_?

Murtogg: Yeah. And no lies!

Jack: Well, then, we confess. It is our intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer our weasely black guts out.

Hannah: Okay, yeah to everything, but what the heck is _weasely_?

Jack: Well actually, it originated in—

Mullroy: Enough!

Murtogg: Yeah, I said no lies!

Mullroy: I think they're telling the truth.

Murtogg: If they were telling the truth, they wouldn't have told us.

Hannah: Hello? We're standing right here?

Mullroy: They might have.

Murtogg: Why would they do that, if that were the truth?

Hannah: _Are they that stupid?_

Jack: Maybe they knew you wouldn't believe the truth, even if they told it to you.

Murtogg and Mullroy: (give each other weird looks)

Murtogg: So you are telling the truth!

Jack: Look boys, lemme tell you a story…

(They all sit around the deck and Jack tells a story concerning… well, I guess some Natives or something because of the next line…)

Jack: And then they made me their chief.

Elizabeth: (splashes)

Jack, Hannah, Murtogg, and Mullroy: (stand and look at the water)

Elizabeth: (is drowning)

Jack: Will you be saving her then?

Mullroy: I can't swim.

Elizabeth: (still drowning)

Jack: (looks at Murtogg, who stares back) Pride of the King's Navy you are. (shoves his effects on Murtogg, Mullroy, and Hannah) Do not lose these. (does an _amazing_ swan dive into the ocean)

Hannah: Careful! _Why can't I be saved by Jack? **It's not fair! Elizabeth gets all the fun!** Wait a minute; what am I supposed to do now? **Going down to the docks would not be a****good idea.** Hey! I can go down to the blacksmith shop and wait for Jack to get there! **Great idea, let's go!**_

(So Hannah leaves the Interceptor and heads for the blacksmith shop. Takes her a little while to get there because she didn't stop for directions, but she finally finds it and hides behind that Native American statue to the side of the blacksmith's. And since it took her so long to get there, she doesn't have to wait too long before—)

Jack: (creeps behind the statue)

Hannah: Jack!

Jack: (screams and jumps out from behind the statue) Hannah! What are you doing here? How'd you get here?

Hannah: (chuckles) Well it was _not _easy, I'll tell you that. I had to walk all over town to find this place! Ya know, you'd think you'd be able to find the _only blacksmith shop in town_, but _nooo_—

Jack: Blacksmith shop?

Hannah: Yeah, it's just— oops.

Jack: Perfect idea! I can get these shackles off! Hurry!

(They race into the shop and look around.)

Bottle: (falls)

(Jack and Hannah tiptoe over to Mr. Brown and poke him.)

Jack: WAM!

Mr. Brown: (sleeps)

(Jack and Hannah try different means of getting the shackles off; none to their avail. Until Jack burns a poor innocent donkey and crushes them off under the wheely thingies. Then the door starts to open, surprise, surprise, and Jack and Hannah hide.)

**_Okay, this is basically identical to the end of chapter one. If you want to review, go back there._**

(The soldiers drag them off to prison, Hannah humming happily the whole time, and Jack unconscious.)

Soldier: (opens gate and throws Jack and Hannah inside; closes gate and locks it) Make yourselves comfortable now, you'll be here awhile. Or perhaps you won't be. Either way, this is the last home you'll ever have. (laughs evilly and leaves)

Hannah: (shakes Jack) Jack. Jack!

Jack: (doesn't wake up)

Hannah: Dang it! Here I am with _Captain Jack Sparrow_ and he's ASLEEP! (Under her breath) Men! (sits back against the wall and goes to sleep).

* * *

**A/N: Okay everyone, there ya go! This was the most difficult chapter to write, as I was trying to please you all with Jack. I hope I did him justice! Please don't expect the next chapter for a while, school's been hectic, so I write when I can. Comments and constructive criticism are needed and welcomed! Thanks to all my readers and reviewers, my beta Hannah, my friends Sydney and Katharine and **http://www (dot) hostultra (dot) com (backslash) vampfiles (backslash) piratesscript2 (dot) html**, for helping me remember some lines, and thanks to everyone who inspired any lines in here! So thank you all, and goodnight!**


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